Best Worst Movie Documentary Review

_1270593886In 1989 one of the worst films of all time was made: Troll 2. This documentary tells the journey of the film from being universally panned to a cult classic, and its fans. It explores the actors lives after the movie, what they went through, and their lives as they peruse other careers. The director, Claudio Fragasso, even makes frustrated comments during the documentary and shows that he truly wanted to make a good film and it wasn’t his intention to make a terrible one. It even tells various peoples opinions, mini-reviews, of the movie and how cult followings develop.

It’s truly hilarious to see the whole subculture of movie goers express their love for a terrible movie, even by showing up dressed as a goblin. The heart warming aspect of this documentary is that people can come together to appreciate a movie, regardless of what it actually is. Which is strange considering this has been rated as one of the worst movies of all time. IMDB has it currently sitting at number 98 out of 100 of their bottom 100 worst of all time. Also it starts out completely weird because the first 30 minutes of the movie are spent talking about George Hardy and how he’s the town’s dentist and class clown. They go as far as interviewing his ex-wife and even she likes the guy. Which is amazing for anyone who gets divorced. Now sure he’s a great guy, but they spend a lot of time on him.

After that they finally get into why they’re making the damn documentary. It sporadically jumps between the actors, the fans, and the director of the film. Most of the actors thought it was going to boost their career. Then they’d reel back old memories of receiving the VHS copy on Christmas day, and how it ruined Christmas day. The weird aspect of it all is that it seemed like many of the actors who signed on to do the movie had no idea how bad it was. Many of them said this through out the film and made me wonder if they read the script at all. Eventually it came to the point where some admitted it kills their career sometimes. One even tells a story how people would see this movie on their resume and they’d only pull them in to laugh at them. While one cast member says it’s comparable to Casablanca. The opinions between the fans even vary as well.

In the end Claudio Fragasso even kinda admits his movie was terrible. However, even though it didn’t make people scared, or whatever, he was still able to appreciate that they enjoyed it. To me that’s the true sign of a good artist. It doesn’t matter if someone understands something the way they do. The only thing that matters is that someone enjoy what was made in a positive way. I hope to see more from Claudio Fragasso and from the documentary crew in the future. This is truly what a documentary is suppose to be about: covering all grounds and piecing it all together without leaving a lopsided argument. If you want to see how a damn documentary is made, watch this. Either way I don’t see how someone won’t enjoy the show.

Please find this and watch it.

9.0/10

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John Wick Movie Review

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A hitman retires and gets married. His wife gets cancer and dies. As a parting gift she orders a dog to be delivered to him a few days after her death. Things are going well and eventually he starts to get his life back together. He even starts carrying out a regular schedule. Then his past life comes back to haunt him.

This was a good revenge film, but they spend the first hour of the movie building up John Wick (Keanu Reeves) as being one of the most bad ass people walking the face of the Earth. Then for some reason everyone decides to try and kill him anyway. Other then that and one glaringly large error that is unrealistic of any mobster, its a quality action film. It mixes enough action without making it too intense (see: The Legend of Drunken Master). It also mixes the atmosphere with random slow parts to give some comic relief and carry the story along (see: The Rundown). Its also refreshing that it doesn’t rely off of older Hollywood action movies for dialogue or action scenes.

For example for a mobster based film there was a significant lack of cursing. Yes, cursing can heighten some situations, but in this genera it’s become contrived and its sometimes distracting from the actual dialogue at hand. When cursing becomes your favorite adjective, verb, and noun it’s a sign that its hiding a bland story. Another example is that in this action film when a car fell off a high platform it DIDN’T explode. Sorry, but that always bugged me. Just because something falls from a considerable height doesn’t mean its going to blow up, nor can. Also there is a good blend of side characters that actually do something. In many movies, especially action movies, side characters get no play through out the film and then are usually brought back up at the end (see: the entire Die Hard series) just to close them out. In truth many side characters don’t have any purpose being there and are usually filler.

Keanu Reeves was more of a dick in this role. This is refreshing since he’s usually the goofy good guy. This only makes me wish he’d get more roles like Constantine. Willem Dafoe instead of being a usually creepy character is actually really good as a guardian angle like figure in the film. Which is also refreshing to see since he’s usually the bad guy, or one of the bad guys. Other various guest appearances from well known faces were also awesome to see. Like John Leguizamo was the chop shop owner, Ian McShane was the owner and lush of the bar, and even Kevin Nash of WWF fame showed up. Shoot even Dean Winters (Law and Order, 30 Rock, and Rescue Me) was a main villain. Sure he probably got typecast for this role, but hes still good at being a asshole. Also Adrianne Palicki was great as a villain, but I think needed more screen time. To a certain extent it’s like a “it’s a that guy/girl” movie where they include familiar faces everywhere. That isn’t done too often, but I thought it was neat, because with “that guy” like people in the Hollywood industry you do get a certain level of good, or better, acting quality and it was rather apparent with all of them.

Every once in a while a quality action film comes on that reminds us all why we love artistic violence. This is one of those movies. It’s explosive, fast paced, and incorporates enough of everything to make what is usually a cliché genera into a really fun revenge movie. The quality story helps movie it along and makes it easy to look over . Take a few friends to see it and then get loaded afterwards.

7.5/10

Guise of the Wolf PC Video Game Review

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WARNING: MILD SPOILERS

You’re start out in a random country side and your carriage gets attacked by some unknown creature. You wake up in the middle of a wintery forest area and start to look for your carriage driver. You eventually venture into the abandon castle to find out you’ve been bitten. As it turns out the Lord of the castle called upon you to create a cure for this curse that plagues the castle.

The story is so so. It slowly draws you in and will put many to sleep at the same time. It gives little to no character development and still leaves holes in the story even at the end. For a ‘horror’ based game there is very little horror to the story seeing as it’s either laughably bad or easily defeated. They did take some unique turns in making a monster story, like making potions and cures. But it ends slightly cliché, even with two different endings. Don’t get me wrong the endings are nicely done, but you’ve probably seen them before.

The graphics are terribly dated, but that’s nothing new with Indy games. Even with dated graphics many have found a way to make them artistic looking or add some different qualities to enhance their limitations. One good example is Papers, Please. It’s a very stressful take on living in a 3rd world country as a boarder security guard. The graphs are utter crap. However shading and simple design help bring the game to a very dreary vivid world. With Guise Of The Wolf it very much reminds me of Theif 2, except it lacks most things. In many areas where a shadow would be cast on someone it shows them in regular lighting. Also many of the characters appear to be BRIGHTER then the surrounding area for some reason. Then when I’d load the game again it would do a 180 and show the complete opposite of what I stated above. Another thing that stand out is that many of the characters have very very limited movement. The guards of the castle seem to have 3, a women you meet in the kitchen seems to only have 2, and the main bad guy only has 4. Now sure it would be different if they were 2d, but this is a 3d world that would probably be a few more hours of coding to be a little lusher and it drains away from the submersion aspect of video games all together. To a certain extent the graphics set back the experience all together.

The controls are wonky to say the least. They start out smooth, but it seems there are too many unfinished parts of the game. So despite how many times you smash down a button it becomes more and more difficult to wiggle out of a glitch in a piece of scenery. Many times I found myself falling through the world or I would get stuck on invisible pieces of something that would render all the controls moot. Other times I would hit a button to perform a action and it just didn’t work. Like say if I wanted to take something. It wouldn’t grasp a clearly graspable object, but when I hit the same button seconds later it would pick up that same object.

In the end this was just a bad game. It was a good attempt for a indy developer. However due to the graphics and story it would have probably been higher rated if it was released years ago and put more time into it. With dated PlayStation 1 like graphics and bland story I can’t recommend it, but can’t say you shouldn’t avoid it either. Although I will say the things that they did well, like some of the voice acting, doesn’t do enough to redeem it completely. However for the more ADD ridden gamer they’ll find themselves bored and frustrated. So if you can get it for cheap buy it. It’s worth a few hours if your really bored. Unfortunately in the end it’s easily forgettable and a mildly regrettable experience.

2.5/10

Devil’s Attorney Android/IOS Video Game Review

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You’re Max McMann, a attorney in some random city in the USA. You start out in a slum defending basic criminals. Through various trials you get to know your clients and defend their…uh…well you make a boat load of money. In doing so you get to buy upgrades for your house, your clothing, and car. In turn they give you various powers and abilities in court. They, like most RPG-ish games, help or hinder your performance in court.

This is one of the best games I’ve played on the android OS. It’s funny and the game play is addictive. It spoofs the 80s TV crime/drama kinda thing and throws in a bit of romance. However it does it in a way where it pays tribute without fully giving into the cliches. This is complimented by how it addresses cliché subject matter in the TV dramas but use different and witty dialog. The character development, while small, is still funny to see develop and establishes enough for each character without making them into a wallflower like in Silver Linings Playbook.

The puzzle/RPG aspect takes place in the court. You use basic numbering system to defeat your enemies. They start with a certain amount of life, i.e. credibility, and once you brandish them (i.e. drain their credibility to zero) you win the match. Simple right? Nope. You are set with a low health and you can hit the opponents hard and they can hit you just as hard. The odd thing is that you can play the same level multiple times find multiple ways to beat it and multiple ways to lose at it. Since the attack points system seems randomized its never guaranteed to kill you nor you kill them. That makes things interesting later in the game.

The artistry that goes into this game is something different. It has stencil style cartoons as the characters while making everything else 3d and allowing the shading to give that 80s feel. They make various caricature of famous people as the clients of Max McMann without making them too ugly. The thing that impressed me is that with all the detail it didn’t bog down the android. This is a MAJOR problem with just about any game for the Android. Either it jams or it completely slams to a screeching halt. Anyone who has played The Simpsons Tapped Out knows what I’m talking about. Also every transition from cut scene to the next stage very smoothly.

The story is a great tribute to the cheesy love stories from the 80s. The graphics are lovably cartoonie while not bogging down your android. The puzzles will make you brush up on your basic math and might send you into cellphone snapping frustration. This is a great game and if you love puzzles you should probably consider buying it. It won’t last long, get mildly repeditivie, and has ZERO replay value, but it’s a very enjoyable 8 hours.

9.0/10

Under the Skin Movie Review

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WARNING: Mild Spoilers

Scarlett Johansson is a humanoid alien who is instructed to seduce men and bring them back to a remote location. When they follow her home they are slowly killed for some new alien race. Eventually the aliens recycled them. Somehow the police find parts of them up and down random areas of Scotland. She wonders about asking men for advice on how to get around town. Eventually she meet someone she starts to feel something for and slowly grows a conscience.

This was a beautifully shot movie and the interactions between the people and Scarlett Johansson seemed natural, and kinda candid. However, the story lacked substance. It had a lot of symbolism that could be thought of in different ways or it was so blatant it couldn’t be misinterpreted. The very long drawn out scenes didn’t help the pacing of the movie any. I know it was trying to emphasize what was happening, but it only dampened the experience, because the movie did it for every damn time something happened. When Scar Jo’s character gains a conscience she goes on a brief self discovery journey. This is short lived when she runs into some man who actually cares for her.

The only real acting that happened was Scarlett Johansson, the random man on the bus who helps her, and Adam Pearson. Scar Jo was scarily seductive and stagnate/confused when needed. She did a great job of the ‘fish out of water’ feel, but it quickly ends when if you’ve watched any movie ever it’s similar fish-out-of-water experiences. Adam Pearson was great as the nervous fellow whom Scar Jo character lies. It’s akin of the nerd in high school who’s on a date with the chick who’s out of, well, anyone’s league. The other fellow who tries to help Scar Jo, I’m sorry but the movie wasn’t clear as to who was what, was rather good. He was the usually recluse who just wanted love. Other then that everyone seemed like they were on some kind of surreal reality TV show. Then it consisted of basically Scar Jo asking them if they thought she was pretty. This did give a sense of realism, but the surrealism popped up with each show of how the men died. It was just rather odd since either these are the most easily seduced men in the world, or they’re that stupid.

Overall this movie was just OK. The acting was fair. The ‘self discovery’ thing was kinda done before if you’ve ever watched any ‘alien among us’ kinda movies. The only thing that really shined was the cinematography. The eerie music did added some tension to the air, but it quickly dissipated once it became obvious what was going to happen next. So in all it was intriguing with little stimulation.

Watch it at least once, but its really not for everyone.

5.0/10